New Found Crushes!

"My name sounds different when you say it.
Sounds like everything will be okay."

I like someone! Everyone likes someone.... but this someone is special!

"dear you.
Sometimes, I like to think of myself as a raindrop. You know, just one small part of a big crowd, no one special. If you watch the rain pour down outside your window, it only looks like a big blur of water, but if you look at a raindrop up close, it has a lot of colors and it is actually quite beautiful in its simplicity.
Sometimes, I like to watch the rain hit the window of my car. Watch as two raindrops come together and form a bigger raindrop.I think of myself as one of those two raindrops. And I always think of you as the other one.
I would like to walk by your side, Your hand in mine, and stay there forever. Just as those two raindrops never part from one another, once they've crossed paths with each other.
love always,
me."

I just think he is sooo amazing! So sweet in his own way!

"I love everything you hate about yourself."

He understands me and knows what I am going through!

"because I'm still in love with you!" I screamed out, using up all of the oxygen that remained in my lungs.
A smile formed in his eyes as he closed the distance between us with a half step. He reached one hand to the side of my face, and brushed away my hair, taking a tear with it. He pushed his lips to my forehead, and wrapped his arms around me.
And then, just like i always dreamed, he stole a kiss.
And this kiss was more passionate than when Romeo Kissed Juliet and when the Prince kissed Cinderella."

I sometimes I wish that he would just know that I like REALLY like him! But I know that if i do tell him he won't be the same!

"And he makes me happier than I ever thought I could be."

He may never know! But others think he likes me back! I wish, but I am not sure!

"i wonder if you know what color my eyes are."

Does He pay attention to me? I don't know! All I know is that we are friends, and that I am pretty sure he likes someone else and that someone else likes someone else... and i like him!

"They say there's plenty of fish in the sea. But I don't want fish.
I just want you."

I do love you....... There is nothing that can change that! I will always love your brown eyes that sometimes look green, your dark hair that is so soft, your sweet smile that comforts me from three and a half miles away! And most of all...... You!!!!! You will have your amazing personality and your nice looks! But nothing can change you! You are you, and i am me! And sometimes.... I mean most of the time..... I mean always..... wish that you and me could be WE forever!

Growing!

     If you think about it, we are such master pieces! Lovely statues of art! But we are also living, changing and growing in so many ways! You have your baby pictures right? So small, normally with out hair and no teeth! And yet soo adorable! Toddlers, small, hug-able and very loveable! Then you have 1st grade through 3rd, growing taller and taller, supposedly and just get smarter and smarter! Still cute! 4th through 6th, you are still getting taller, and smarter, you become a part of real society! You start defining your future! Middle school, Popularity either rises or drops. For me, it dropped, not drastically, but a bit! You hit puberty! Everyone HATES that! Even I! so everything changes from then on! High school, Things get real tough, social groups are now a vital part of life.... apparently...... and you could either be at the top with the popular, or at the bottom with the scum! I am closer to the top! I am only in 9th grade! Still working on social class, grades and my future! I have changed so much since I was born! I would know!!!!
            So in a way, we are like trees! We will grow, life and people can and will change us.... but we will always be the same! An apple tree is always an apple tree, an old and mighty oak, will always be an oak! We will always be who ever we are! A boy, or a girl... A snob or a helper.... an idiot or a "Einstein"! What ever it should be, we will never change, no matter what! No matter how much we really want to! No matter how others may change us! We will always be ourselves! I am myself! Always growing, not always physically, not always mentally and not always spiritually! But always changing!!!!!

Trying to Be Myself!

I was walking with some of my friends in Utah, they are all just so amazing and know so much! I just wish I could be like them! I know it would be impossible and that most of them are guys! So I tried being myself..... I can do things other people can't and maybe see in different perspectives, But the things is, being myself isn't on how others view me... It's about how I view myself! My friends can do so many things that I can't, but then there are things that I can do that they can't.. That is me! Myself! I try to grow on those and keep the things we have in common about the same... Not so easy when they are around all of the time,. they help you with what they know how to do! So, running, check... Singing, Check.... Math, not so but trying! They help me with what they can! I just do what I can to listen and learn, unless it is something they don't know how to do! Like, Draw, check... Dance, Check... Painting, not so but trying! I do lot's of things that make me myself that others may be able to do, but not quite as well as I can! I have my talents, they have theirs, I have my "powers" they have theirs. I have my amazing ability to write... They are all talkers! We both Listen, I use my imagination, they use logic, I use faith, they use science! We have differences, but me being myself is why we are friends, nothing much changes but when it does, it will! It will have an effect on all of us! It will either grow our friendly relationship, or decrease it! I can hope and dream that it will increase, but never so sure! Like moving, I can never tell if it will help or damage! So far from all of my experience, it has damaged! I can at least  hope that the friends I have in Utah will be the true friends I have all ways wanted and will remember me for who I am, not what I do! I did move, I will write and call and maybe text. But if they reply it is their choice. I will make new friends, and they will be my friends because of me, not my clothes, not my looks, but of how I am myself! Growing and growing, Like a Rose in a garden, I won't stop until I have to, but even then, I grow in beauty... in the inside, I will always be useful, whether it is for the environment, or for family! I am here for so many reasons...... One of which......... To be myself!!!!!!!!!

Just the Beginning!

To start, I have a very interesting life! Maybe not quite as interesting as others, but I must say interesting! I have the advantage of being amazing. Then of course you have all of my friends who helped me become amazing! 
     Now to really begin! Let's start when I just started some where, not the end and not the precise the beginning, but close enough to the point where it is actually important! I was walking through school, just moved some where else, hoping to find someone to be my friend, no luck on the first day, same with the one after that and after that..... so to say, now it will get to the good part!.... I met someone, he was really nice and welcoming, he invited me to sit with him and his group of friends, from then on we have been good friends! We still talk, just moved again! One day While walking to my first class, I had been there about half a year or more. I sat down in my first class got out what I needed, I believe it was art. I overheard my teacher talking to the principal about a student getting hit by a car! I didn't know if I heard it right. We continued on through that class with out the teacher saying anything, when it came to announcements which were really late that day for some odd reason, the principal was on and said..... "One of our students was hit by car and is being rushed to the hospital, the medics are unsure if she will make it." I sat there and thought to myself, I heard it right, how sad, for once I don't want to be right, or hear anything right! I felt so bad for her family and her friends, I was still not sure who this girl was. In my second period, Drama, I figured it out. Her name was Madison Mecum. She was the first girl to help me around with my classes. We were not particularly friends, but close enough for me! Everyone was so quiet. The announcements went on and the principal said, "She has made it to Sacred Heart Medical Center." I heard some sighs of relief and then some worried cries, and some other things. I sat down and tried not to cry, hard but still capable. I saw people all around me now swallowed up in sadness and grief. I don't think I had seen so much in a school before, yeah people die here and there, but when it comes to her, she was so kind and sweet and very popular. So I wasn't surprised on how many people knew her! When I went to my fourth period, History, I heard a girl say, "Well it's a good thing she got hurt, she was getting on my nerves, so it was either that car that hit her or it was going to be me!" I was going to say something until one of Madi's friends stood up, turned around and looked at the girl who said that and started telling her off of how amazing Madi was! Yes she was fairly amazing! Where does my amazingness come in? Soon... I promise... We were sitting in Math, the "best" class ever! When my teacher stood up in front of the class with a sorrowful look on his face. I was hoping he would say something like, "She will be alright, just slightly paralyzed." But no... instead he said, "You know the girl that got hit, well...... umm..... she died..." There was a long pause of silence. I heard crying in the hallway in the classroom across the way and I could almost feel it emanating through out the entire school! That is when I lost my cool and started crying. I was sitting in my last class of the day when the intercom went on saying what had happened and what we were going to do for her. The Principal said, "She has passed, so instead of having a crazy hair day tomorrow like planned, we are going to have a Madi day, her favorite color was pink, so if you cold, wear pink. That will be all." I heard him sniffle a little before the intercom went off. Everyone was in tears. The next day Everyone wore pink, I mean EVERYONE! It was the quietest day ever at this school, or any!.... now my amazing part..... I asked the principal if we could play a song in remembrance of her. He of course said absolutely! I told him which one. When first class started, we were all seated and the announcements went on and  the principal said, "We are going to have a remembrance song, it is we raise you up, by Josh Groban." the song started, tissues were passed, tears rolled down cheeks and of course there was absolutely NO TALKING! it was aloud, but no one was in the mood to! When the song was over I asked my teacher if we could just walk around the track, she agreed easily! Everyone wondered who requested the song. At the end of the day I told the teacher to tell the class that an angel did. She said it and a student said "I believe it was her dad!" Because a few years earlier her dad was in a car accident! Also passed! So that is what I will leave you with, don't start crying! I just say, God needed her more than we needed her!